Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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