when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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