check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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