he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
