i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
honey bunches of taint.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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