Someone shit on the floor
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
