smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
