He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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