So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
