somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
