your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
