Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
