Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
