Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Randomize
