Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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