I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
