Small penises have feelings too.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
