are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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