don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
