I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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