My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
