Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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