The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
