I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
