If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
