Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
