Cold hands, warm shart.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
