Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
