Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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