My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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