the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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