hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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