there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
