Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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