This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You took a bar mat shot.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
