True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
