woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
