what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
