I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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