Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
