my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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