btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
sex in a hospital.. check
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
