Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
