just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
