Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
