I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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