Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
