Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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