You can't motorboat a personality
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
