i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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