If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
